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Positive vs. Negative Reinforcement: A Guide for ParentsLearn how positive vs. negative reinforcement influence your parenting style and the ways positive reinforcers can support your child’s development.I almost stopped bringing them to the playground. With two children under the age of 4, playgrounds had been a place of respite for me. I could sit on the bench and catch up with some parent friends while my littles jumped, slid, and climbed to their heart's content in a controlled setting. We could all let off a little steam there, but leaving the playground had become such a process that I almost stopped going altogether. Inevitably, when I announced it was time to go, my 3-year-old would run away. Laughing maniacally, he’d climb a slide or shimmy to the top of a play structure and gleefully gaze down at me as though it was a joke, as though dinner didn’t need to be made and naps didn’t need to happen. Meanwhile my 2-year-old would cry. He didn’t want to leave either, though he wasn’t quick enough to escape, so there he’d be, his hand in mine with tears running down his face. And when he really wasn’t feeling it, this would escalate to sad face plus flailing body slung under my arm. In either case, we were a scene, and by the time I got them into the car, everyone, including yours truly, was in tears. Executing a graceful playground exit is apparently one of the finer arts of parenting, and clearly one I hadn’t mastered. In fact, I didn’t even have a clue where to begin. When the pattern started to deter me from going to the playground altogether, I knew something had to change. But what? Do I need to start punishing my kids, counting to three, hoping I make it no further than two and a half before my children come running? Am I supposed to yell at them until they do what I say?? Or is raising the white flag a better approach, burying my head in my hands and letting them see me cry in desperation? None of those felt quite right. We are a family who talks things out and I totally got why they didn’t want to leave the playground. Heck, there were days when I didn’t want to leave. Overpowering my kids with threats, bribes or punishments was tempting, but honestly, it just felt wrong. Wouldn’t I just be teaching them that might makes right? But if not by overpowering or controlling them with force, how could I get them to understand that we couldn’t permanently move into the playground? How do I help to shape their decision-making process so we can all leave the playground with less of a fuss? Why does anyone choose one behavior over the other, anyway? I worked hard to catapult myself back to the psychology class I took as an undergrad for some answers. Both positive reinforcement and negative reinforcement were first described by psychologist B.F. Skinner in his theory of operant conditioning. He was trying to describe how people make one choice over another. Long story short, he came to realize there are many different types of reinforcement. One type is negative reinforcement. Here’s a definition from The Very Well Mind : Negative reinforcement is when people are conditioned to exhibit certain behaviors in order to stop an aversive stimulus. What does that mean exactly? Well, an aversive stimulus is basically a fancy name for something that is undesirable, that we naturally try to avoid. When we choose to act a certain way in order to stop an aversive stimulus, we're motivated by negative reinforcement. We choose the particular behavior that will stop the undesired response. This may not be the way that you're used to thinking about it — it certainly wasn’t for me — so let's take a look at some examples. Examples of Negative Reinforcement
Is Negative Reinforcement the Same as Punishment?If you're like me, you may have assumed that negative reinforcement includes the word "negative" because certain behavior leads to negative results, or punishment. In reality, though, in negative reinforcement the word negative is used to indicate that something is taken away or negated, not that an unwanted consequence is introduced. Although parents do sometimes use negative reinforcement to motivate behavior, punishments and negative reinforcement are not the same thing. That's because typically a punishment works by adding an uncomfortable stimulus as the response to unwanted behavior. Punishments motivate a behavior change by adding something — an unwanted reinforcer in response to misbehavior — not by taking one away for desired behavior. Examples of Punishment vs. Negative Reinforcement
Now, let's go back to my playground exit strategy. If I start counting to three or yell or put them in timeout for not getting a move on, is this negative reinforcement? If I did any of these things, my kids would be scrambling to the car to avoid an unwanted consequence — whether it’s timeout or even just me yelling. These are punishments rather than a form of negative reinforcement. But I want my kids to learn and grow from mistakes, not fear them. Still, there are times when we need to leave the playground, and I can’t go on fighting about it every time. So what’s the other option? What Is Positive Reinforcement?In general, positive reinforcement is a little easier to understand: Positive reinforcement, according to PositivePyschology.com , is when a desirable response is added after the expected behavior occurs. Here, the word positive refers to the addition of a stimulus rather than to its positive nature. Also first described by Skinner, positive reinforcement can take several forms because there are a few different types of reinforcements. The four varieties of positive reinforcers to help children grow and develop emotional intelligence include the following:
What do these reinforcers look like in practice, and are they all created equal? Examples of Positive ReinforcementA natural reinforcer is essentially a natural consequence of positive behavior.
A token reinforcer is a reward that can be exchanged for something else.
A social reinforcer is positive encouragement from others.
A tangible reinforcer is an actual physical reward.
Now, how about my children at the playground? How could I employ these same theories to make our exit smoother? There is always a reason why we have to leave the playground. Sometimes it’s because I need to hurry home in order to make dinner. Other times it’s because we have gymnastics class. Although little, my children were more than capable of knowing why these things are important. As it turned out, my key to leaving the playground was to sit down with the boys at home and simply tell them why we need to leave the playground and how they can help. We talked about how fun the playground is and how hard it can be to leave something that’s fun, but we also talked about how we feel when we’re hungry and dinner is late or when we miss gymnastics. We also set a clear boundary together, including a little compromise — when Mom says it’s time to leave the playground, they each get one more trip down the slide and one more lap around the perimeter to “shake the sillies out” before we get in the car. Then when we get in the car, I am sure to tell them how they helped us get to our next activity in time. Positive reinforcement is often regarded as one of the most effective tools of positive parenting. Not only does positive reinforcement help children thrive, it also allows caregivers to connect positively, motivating children to grow as individuals. How to Use Positive Reinforcement Effectively in Your Family
Positive and negative reinforcement may not be intuitive to grasp. But when we connect with our children in a positive way, we help them build important social and emotional skills. These are skills that help them handle struggle and engender a sense of connection, self-reliance, and self-awareness. When we start focusing on the behavior we want to see and offering positive reinforcers to support that behavior, we give our children valuable tools to help them grow. What is the goal of both positive and negative reinforcement?The goal of both positive and negative reinforcement is to increase the likelihood that a behavior will occur again in the future. The difference is in how each accomplishes this.
What is the importance of giving positive and negative reinforcement on students?The goal of positive reinforcement is to encourage positive student behaviors by giving a gift, whereas negative reinforcement seeks to encourage positive student behavior by removing a negative condition. Consider a classroom where students must sit silently until their work is completed.
How is positive and negative reinforcement used in the classroom?An example of positive reinforcement is providing a sticker to a student once they've completed an assignment. An example of negative reinforcement is allowing the student to leave circle time for a five-minute break after they use a break card.
Can you use both positive and negative reinforcement?Results of the current study suggest that a combination of both positive and negative reinforcement was most effective for increasing one participant's compliance to simple tasks.
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